Responding to literature

This week I have been following a guided writing plan by Gail Loane, based around James K Baxters poem 'The Town.'

The town was usual enough: it had

A creek, a bridge, a beach, a sky

Over it, and even a small tin church

I never went to. My brother, my cousins and I

Did what boys do - dozed in the hot

Schoolroom, made bows and arrows, dodged the mad

Boatbuilder, crept like rabbits through the black

Under-runners with a weak torch,

Burnt dry rushes, wrestled or swam

Doing nothing important.

James K. Baxter

We read this together and explored the words he used to create an image in our head. Then we looked at the structure of the poem, breaking it into separate parts.

We brainstormed five nouns, or things at our special place, then who we were with and lastly five verbs/actions, or things we did there.

We put them together, remembering to add on Doing nothing important. at the end. Here are our finished poems:

The island was usual enough; it had
a beach, a pool, an airport, and even a tranquil resort.
My family did what families do – sat around the exquisite
pool, played at the vivid beach, rode around the whole
island, played life-size chess like it was a
war, and watched my cousin get married.
Doing nothing important.

Thomas Mason
Inspired by James K Baxter

The village was usual enough; it had
a beach, houses, a dairy, palm trees, and even a
rugby field. My family and I did what families do –
climbed palm trees like spider monkeys, dove in the
powerful waves, played cricket at the park, scurried
to the dairy and played rugby like powerful rhinos.
Doing nothing important.

Brower Pule

Inspired by James K Baxter

The campsite was usual enough; it had
a dairy, a bridge, a tennis court, sand dunes
and even a beach. My friends and I did what friends do –
argued about lolly bags, kayaked from island to island,
biked through the tents and cabins, pretended to be
Cristiano Ronaldo, boogie boarded in the choppy waves.
Doing nothing important.

Salvador Luieza
Inspired by James K Baxter

Hahei was usual enough; it had
a dairy, a beach, shops, sand dunes, and even
a great playground. My friends and I did what
girls do – dived in the sea, biked around the mammoth
campsite, swung through the trees like monkeys, zoomed
down slides and licked lollies all day.
doing nothing important.

Hannah McCabe
Inspired by James K Baxter

The beach was usual enough; it had -
a rock pool, toilets, black sand, a cafe, boats and even a
glinting ocean. My family and I did what familes do –
spent hours playing cricket in the soft
sand, surfed the mammoth waves, snorkled in the icy
sea and bought cookie and cream ice creams.
Doing nothing important.

Aaron D’Costa
Inspired by James K Baxter

The beach was usual enough; it had –
a hulking town, a cool pool, a school, and a beautiful
beach. My cousins and I did what boys do –
played rugby on the beach like All Blacks, wrestled
for fun, went to town, climbed mammoth
trees, and pretended to be warriors while hunting
deer, pigs and possums in the dark creepy night.
Doing nothing important.

Jacob Tuala-Dawson
Inspired by James K Baxter

The campsite was usual enough; it had
tents, a dairy, a bridge, and even a tennis court.
My sister, mum, dad, neighbours and I did
what families do – spent hours in the irate
waves, kayaked through mangroves, biked for miles.
Doing nothing important.

James Aylott

Inspired by James K Baxter

Kaitaia is usual enough; it had
sheds, schools, a town, a beach and even
a pool. My brothers and I did what boys do –
jumped from the highest point at the pool,
played hand ball, fought each other like
lions, and swam in the ocean.
Doing nothing important.

Reuben Dawson
Inspired by James K Baxter

The small town was usual enough; it had
tents, shops, a cafe, and even a lolly shop.
My friends and I did what boys do –
spent hours at the beach, spent days deciding
what lollies we wanted, played races,
rode our bikes and rested under trees.
Doing nothing important.

Johanon Ferreira
Inspired by James K Baxter

Great pieces of writing! I can see the students writing improving every day, especially their vocabulary.

Teaching writing

Part of this ten week programme is to work with teachers at St Dominic's and help them to improve their writing. I am going to come in to classes and model a week of teaching personification. I decided on this because personification is generally the hardest language feature to teach and I wanted to show that it can be easy if you scaffold the students into it with whole class, pair and independent activities.

I started this week and have found the class, Room 9, very receptive, they picked up the concept quickly, responded well to my teaching and today we looked at a piece of quality writing by David Hill, then started a piece of writing.

They all started a recount about a scary or exciting time and 99% of them used a piece of personification in the story.

Here is the lesson plan:

Personification

Recrafting to need lesson:

Share the learning intention: 
We are learning how to use personification in our writing.

Whole class: 
What is personification? Do you know any examples? Why use it in our writing?
Brainstorm ideas for describing a windy tree using personification.

Pairs: Select three pictures, write a sentence to describe them using personification. When all groups are completed, pick one sentence to share with the class.

Independent: Test conditions, to show me you understand the learning write three more sentences based on the three pictures left. Pick one sentence to share to the class.

Quality cameo lesson:

Glue cameo into books, read it quietly. First time, teacher reads it aloud while the students read along. Second time, teacher reads it aloud while students highlight personification and other awesome vocab or language features.

Discuss highlighted sections. Why is it good writing?

Share task, in this case to write about a scary or exciting time.

Glue in Task and LI/SC sheet. Students discuss with buddies what they will write about, plan it out using 1. 2. 3. key words for paragraphs.

Silent writing. Teacher roams, fills in feedback and feed forward, on task sheet, based on the first paragraph.

Students share the sentence containing personification at the end, if they want to.

Recrafting to Need - Simile

In the writing sample at the beginning of the ten weeks, the students did not use any language features. This is an identified need, so I am kicking off this three week cycle with a week on using similes in our writing.

We started with vivid vocab as usual, our Word web is filling up quickly and I am noticing the language coming out in their writing and when they are speaking.

We look into what a simile is next, some examples and why we should use it in our writing. All the pink writing is their answers, what they told me about it. They understand similes, but don't use them in their writing. I hope this week will change that.

The next activity is a paired activity where they write similes for soft, hard, rough, fast, slow, heavy etc... things on a little worksheet. This is to promote discussion with each other and help them practice writing similes.

Now, after all the teaching and pair activities, how do I check they've got the learning?

I give them all a picture of a stream in a forest and ask them to silently, and independently write three similes based on the picture. I give them 6 minutes and tell them it is like a test to show me they understand what a simile is. They then share their favourite simile. Here is the page from the modelling book:

As you can see, they all gave me a simile, so I am happy they understand what a simile is. It was a great lesson, all the student were engaged and tomorrow we will look a a sample of writing that has quality similes in it.

Student Discussion

I have many discussions with my students every day, when they are writing, these discussions are recorded on their LI/SC/Assessment sheet, which is glued into their book above the writing. 


Task: To describe the ocean.
Learning 

Intention: We are learning to use alliteration in our writing.

Success Criteria: I have... 

-used one example of alliteration

-described the ocean

Remember to:

-leave lines

-use a thesaurus

-use your senses to describe the ocean.

Teacher/student discussion:


Feedback: 
I like the simile you used to describe the waves.
Great powerful vocab, eg. whirled, pounded.

Feed forward: 

How could you HOOK the reader in at the start?

Is there a better way of saying blue?

By writing the feedback and forward with them while they are writing, they are able to act on it straight away. It is meaningful and relevant. 

But, how do we get students to start doing this themselves?

How do we teach students to discuss their work clearly? 

One way is to use some activities from Kagan's Structures.

They are practical activities, some you may already be doing, that engage students with other students and help to teach them ways to talk about their learning and each others learning.

I really want to try the Find Someone Who... technique. Where students try to find a language feature in other peoples writing.

Here is a link to an explanation of all his structures and examples of activities you can try in class or group situations.

http://www.horseheadsdistrict.com/ir/kagan/coopdom.htm

Jerremy Williams



Special thanks to my aunty, Jenny Hirst for sharing her knowledge of Kagan's structures, which she is using in schools in Malaysia.

Student Feedback

After two weeks with the students in the group, I decided to check in with them about what we had LEARNT, this is what they said:

"We learnt how to use more powerful words."
"You taught us to try more interesting sentences."
"Hooks are good to start the story."
"You showed us Vivid Vocab to find better words."

About HOW I am doing the teaching:

"You make it easy to understand."
"It helps to see author's work...it gives us good ideas...they have good examples of writing."
"The highlighting on our work gives us things to change to make it better, it helps us."

Shared Writing

Following on from the Hook learning we did earlier in the week. We started a piece of shared writing based on one of my hockey games, when |I scored a goal. I set the scene, described what happened and wrote my 3 paragraph plan. Then the students helped me write the story. 

After it was written, they had a chance to re craft it. Adding in details or changing sentences. 

Then it was their turn to write. This is what Brower came up with:

Awesome ideas and a great hook that grabs the reader's attention.

Leafy Literature Library

It is good for the students to see their writing up next to published author's writing. It lets them know that their work is just as important, and when you are working with struggling writers this can be a huge confidence booster. 

Also, writing it out instead of word processing makes the writing more accessible. Students think, I can do that too.

Writers Hard at Work

Writing Ideas

Where do you go to get ideas? 
TKI? Or another site? 
Do you know any good places to get examples of quality writing from?

Share your ideas here for others to check out?

Recrafting to Need Lesson

Each Monday, I start teaching a new Need. I get these from the needs analysis based on an unassisted writing sample. I collated all the strengths and needs of each child and am focussing on one a week. Last week it was powerful vocab, this week it is writing an effective hook.

The Recrafting to Need Lesson on Monday sets up the learning intention for the week. 

We do a whole class activity, What is it? Examples, and Why use it in our writing? Then we practice as a group, sharing our ideas.

Next, in pairs we complete a similar activity, with teacher roaming and checking understanding. I collated their ideas on a page in my modelling book, to look back if needed in their writing.

Lastly, we complete an independent activity to show learning. 

In the Hooks lesson, I gave them the titles of some hooks and an example, and asked them to match them up.

Here is Aaron's example:

 The next day we look at a piece of writing, that shows us a quality example of what we are leaning. In this case it was a piece of writing by me, about a cricket game at the beach. Here is the hook:

Matapouri Beach Cricket Ground

1. The beach

2. Playing cricket

3. Hit a six

1. Sun rays shine down like blazing arrows, burning everything they touch. The clouds relax overhead, slowly making their way across the sky, high above the waves that lazily crash down on the beach.

We discussed the powerful vocab and the hook, why it was effective and how it interests the reader. The students then go off and plan, write and start to recraft their own beach recount, using the hooks we brainstormed yesterday.

Here is a selection of Hooks from their writing:

Aaron: It was boiling hot. I started sweating as soon as I got out of the car.

Johanon: Swish, Swash, Swash. Have you ever been to Goat Island?

Salvador: Splish, splash. I could hear the waves from the car park.

James: Wooosh! As I get off the plane a huge heat wave shoots into my face.

Francis: Swish, Swish, the waves went swishing like a fish in the sea.

Reuben: Broom, broom. We're going to the beach!

As you can see, they rely heavily on the onomatopoeia hook. 

I think tomorrow I will get them to do a forced recraft of their hook, changing them to something even more attention grabbing.

Feedback For All!

How do you get the time to give relevant feedback to 30 students during one writing session?

Here are some ideas:

- Limit your comments to one piece of feedback and one piece of feed-forward.
- You don't have to read the whole piece of writing, just a paragraph, or maybe just the hook.
- Only comment on the learning intention, why spend twenty minutes teaching them How to structure a recount, and then comment on spelling? That can come later, during editing and re-crafting.

How do you manage it?

Feedback

After discussing with Bernadette Heibner, St Dominic's Primary school's RT:Lit,  I decided to trial giving feedback and feed forward during the writing lesson instead of at home. The theory being that giving feedback during a discussion with the child is much more effective than writing a note in the book at home later that night. I tried it this week and found that the students attempted to work on the feed forward straight away. The feed forward was relevant and helped to make their recount better. 

Feedback: a comment relating to something positive in their writing, relating to the learning intention.

Feed forward: a comment relating to something they could improve on. Could be a question to make them think about their writing.

Jerremy

Book Sample

This is a sample from a students book. You can see the Vivid Vocab, taken from Gaye Byers, and a powerful vocabulary activity we did based on a picture.

Click the picture for a better view.

Cameo Lesson

 We explore Cameos of published author's works. In this case we looked at an excerpt from Gavin Bishop's book Piano Rock. We highlighted all the powerful vocabulary and then wrote our own recount about waking up in the morning.

 

I share with the students the Task, Learning Intention, Success Criteria and have space for me to write feedback during the independent writing time.

After writing, I look at their work and highlight Gold for Glory, which in this case is the powerful verbs and adjectives they used, Pink for Think, which are errors and Blue for DO, which is where they can re-write the incorrect words or sentences.

In the bubbles I explain what is wrong and offer ideas to make their writing better. They get ten minutes at the start of the next lesson to make the changes and share with their buddy.

Vivid Vocab

Each day we explore powerful vocabulary and add them to our Word Web. This is a wall thesaurus anyone can use to add powerful vocab into their writing. The Leafy Literature Library has excellent examples from authors and our own writing that we can borrow for our stories.

Accelerated Literacy Learning Group

This is a blog set up to document good literacy practice in primary schools. I'll be focussing mainly on writing, specifically motivation of struggling writers. I am a teacher at St Dominic's Catholic Primary School, and am working through a ten week programme with ten struggling writers, nine of which are boys. 

I will be posting ideas and examples over the weeks.

Thanks,
Jerremy Williams